The Space Between Enough and More ⚖️
Last week I felt unstoppable, steady in my routine, grateful for the invisible work that’s shaping the life I want.
This week, the same gratitude showed up carrying extra luggage.
Late at night, scrolling through engagements, baby announcements, and shiny milestones, I felt that familiar ache in my chest.
Happy for them, yes.
But also wondering when it will be my turn.
🌊 Tides & Feelings
I’m a Cancer sun and my moods move like the tide, one moment I’m light and laughing, the next I’m sad like I’ve lost a best friend, then moody and untouchable, then crying for reasons I can’t name.
That’s my life… but also just life. I’m simply expressive about mine.
Last week I said, “I love this in-between phase because I know it’s preparing me,” and I still believe that.
But this week those same feelings brought a few bags I needed to unpack.
💔 The Ache
As I scroll, I watch more and more people step into big life moments—engagements, marriages, pregnancy announcements.
Part of me still feels eighteen and too young for all of that, but another part remembers I’m twenty-nine and those milestones would be perfectly normal for me too.
With that comes reflection, and comparison.
I remind myself, “It’s okay, yours is coming in due time,” and it helps… for a while.
But like D-Bo after he leaves, the feelings creep back.
They return when I’m happy but wish I could fall asleep in someone’s arms.
When I imagine getting proposed to and remember no man seems to see me for who I truly am, beyond my thick curves, chocolate skin, and pretty smile.
I get sad and wonder, “Is this going to be my life forever?”
🪞 Old Wounds
This cycle has been with me since childhood.
As a dark-skinned woman, I couldn’t help noticing how lighter girls were treated and adored.
It always felt like that would never be me.
That’s a wound I’ll probably unpack forever.
Now it shows up as a quiet whisper: even though I know my season is coming, and will arrive at the perfect time, it doesn’t erase the sting of watching others live the joys I crave.
Whether the feeling is envy, jealousy, or just a sharp longing, I get it.
I’ve felt it more times than I’d like to admit.
🔥 Fuel
Even though last week I rode a high of consistency, this week reminded me that growth is a balance.
What steadied me was remembering that the things I want aren’t just on their way because I manifest and pray, though that matters.
They’re coming because of the steps I take every single day.
Every blog post.
Every quiet hour of invisible work.
Every act of showing up for myself.
That’s why my season will arrive, and when it does I’ll bask unapologetically in the joy of knowing life recognized I was ready.
⚖️ Balance
Life isn’t black or white, it’s grey, layered, coexisting.
My envy for others can sit beside my happiness for them.
It can even motivate me to keep grinding, knowing my time is on the way.
Admitting envy doesn’t make me a hater; it means I’m honest about the gap between where I am and where I know I can be.
Envy turns toxic only when you see the gap and do nothing to close it.
The more time passes without action, the more resentment builds.
I refuse to live there.
🌷 Choosing the Work
I share these tender places because I know I’m not alone.
The difference between those who receive what they want and those who don’t is often simple:
what you let your feelings fuel.
In this season, I’m choosing to let them fuel me—
to become her in the invisible hours.
I hope my reflections help you in some way.
Even if they don’t push you to immediate action, I hope they at least invite a softer, more honest return to yourself.
Better to face the truth with love, first with yourself, and here with me.
💌 A Gentle Reminder for Your Weekend
Your longing doesn’t cancel your gratitude.
Both can coexist, and both can guide you.
Let desire be the map and consistency be the engine.
Keep tending to your invisible hours, they are quietly creating the life you’re aching for.
🌷 Thank You for Reading
If you made it this far, thank you for sitting with me in the in-between.
These words are my offering, and I hope they remind you that every ache carries a direction, and every step, seen or unseen, counts.
I hope my words whisper that your desires are not flaws, but invitations to become.
✨ Affirmation Set
My desires are not a weakness; they are evidence of possibility.
The ache I feel is a compass, pointing me toward the life that already belongs to me.
Every small step I take is proof that I trust my own becoming.
I can honor what I want without rushing the timing. My life is on perfect timing.
The love and opportunities I long for are moving toward me as I move toward myself.
📝 Soft Return Reflection Prompts:
When I feel the sharp ache of wanting something I don’t yet have, what specific future am I secretly mapping out? What does that desire reveal about who I’m becoming?
When envy rises, what early memories or past experiences does it awaken in me? How might those memories still shape the way I see love, success, or beauty today?
Imagine my life five years from now, after my desires have arrived. What would future me thank present me for enduring, practicing, or believing during this quiet season?
What qualities of “her”—the woman I’m becoming—are already alive in me today, even if the world hasn’t recognized them yet? How can I recognize them myself?
Until Next Time 🌺
