The Quiet Side of the Gl☀️w-Up
☀️ Montego Bay Magic
As I lay out on the Caribbean sand in Montego Bay, I thought, this is it.
This is what life is supposed to feel like. Warm sun on my skin, rum punch in my hand, the ocean stretching out in front of me. I was happy. Like deeply, peacefully, this-is-what-I-prayed-for happy. I kept thinking, this is the life I want to live every day. The one I’ve been working for.
I felt grateful, for every setback that pushed me closer to myself, for all the hard work that got me here. Life was good, and for a moment, I could finally breathe.
🌿 The Comeback That Didn’t Come With Applause
Then I came back home.
And decided it was time to reactivate Instagram, my first post since deactivating on January 1st. It felt like a full-circle moment. Time to pop out.
The original plan was to come back snatched and in love; new body, new man, new energy. But here I am: no man, a little more weight, and the same phone screen staring back at me. Go figure.
Still, I made my little photo dump. My quiet comeback. Externally, my life looks pretty much the same, but internally? It’s a completely different world. So, I was excited to share, to show people the shift. I thought my comments would flood, that my DMs would light up, that people would say we missed you. But they didn’t.
It was just… another post on another day.
And to my surprise, that hit me harder than I expected.
💭 The Crash That Became a Lesson
My therapist calls it a dopamine crash, and that’s exactly what it was.
For months, I built up this moment, telling myself, once I post, everyone will see how much I’ve grown.
But what I really needed to see was how much I no longer crave being seen.
When you stop performing, the applause stops too.
And at first that silence feels like rejection, but it’s actually peace.
Because when you no longer need to prove anything, you start to feel free.
I wanted my “pop-out” to be proof that I had evolved. But it turns out, the proof isn’t in the post. It’s in the life I’m actually living.
🌸 The Growth Nobody Saw
While I was gone, I started a new job, bought a brand-new car, made big moves in the trading world, launched a blog that nobody knows about but heals me every time I write. I stopped performing for love. I stopped accepting scraps. I learned how to be fulfilled without being seen.
And yet, when I came back from Jamaica, I felt heavy.
Not physically, energetically. Like I was grieving the version of me who thought being “seen” would mean I’d finally made it.
But real growth? The kind that lasts? It’s invisible. It’s quiet. It’s not flashy or Instagram-worthy.
Real growth is coming back heavier but happier.
Real growth is feeling peace instead of pressure.
🔥 Recalibration, Not Regression
I thought after this trip and this hiatus I’d have this grand comeback moment, this perfect “I’m exactly where I need to be” story.
And while that’s partly true, it’s also not the full truth.
The full truth is that I’m still learning to be okay with the quiet.
I’m still unlearning the need to be chosen, liked, or praised.
And that’s not as glamorous as a comeback photo dump — but it’s real.
Maybe this “dopamine crash” wasn’t a setback at all.
Maybe it was a recalibration; from what I thought I wanted, to what I actually needed.
Because the universe has a funny way of humbling you when you start to make your worth dependent on who’s watching.
Now, I get to keep living for me.
Writing for me.
Becoming for me.
And if the validation ever comes again, it’ll just be a bonus, not the source.
🌙 The Sacred Silence
So if you’re in your own post-high crash, if you’re wondering why, you don’t feel as happy as you thought you’d be — maybe that’s just your soul expanding. Maybe it’s clearing out what doesn’t fit anymore.
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just becoming.
And sometimes that means sitting in the quiet after the applause; trusting that the silence is sacred too.
✨ A Gentle Reminder for your Weekend
You don’t have to announce your growth for it to be real.
Let this weekend remind you that silence can still sparkle.
You are allowed to rest in your glow without needing anyone to notice it.
🌷 Thank You for Reading
If you made it this far, thank you for being here with me.
I hope these words remind you that sacred things don’t need to be seen to be real, and that you don’t need a crowd to confirm your glow-up.
Even in the stillness, you are expanding; quietly, beautifully, enough.
Sometimes peace is the loudest proof that you’ve changed.
✨ Affirmation Set:
I am no longer performing for love, attention, or proof.
My growth doesn’t need an audience to be real.
I am proud of the woman I’m becoming, even when no one is watching.
My joy does not depend on recognition; it flows from within me.
I am learning to celebrate my soft seasons as much as my loud ones.
The absence of noise is not the absence of progress.
I am exactly where I need to be—becoming, expanding, enough
📝 Soft Return Reflection Prompts:
What parts of me chase spikes (likes, attention, “pop-out” moments), and what parts of me crave steadiness? How can I feed devotion over dopamine this week?
If I stopped measuring my life by visibility, what new metrics would I use (peace, presence, integrity, consistency, tenderness)? Define them and how I’ll notice them daily.
When the room/phone is quiet, what stories get loud? Which stories are true, and which are just old protections? How can I update the script with tenderness?
Until Next Time 🌺
